I’m not generally one to report on celebrity gossip, but this one’s just too sad and bizarre to pass up commenting upon.

Britney Spears is back in drug rehab. Again. Big surprise, huh? - According to the Associated Press, the check-in led to a cancellation last Thursday in family court of an appearance K-Fed had requested in their ongoing child custody dispute.

Spears’s manager, Larry Rudolph, confirmed that she has gone into the Promises Malibu drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. But Fox News has reported the ritzy rehab center offers little in the way of real rehabilitative services, and at about $40,000 per month, those tennis courts, massages, and pedicures sound a lot more like a star-studded vacation than real therapy.

Back in the Dark Ages, when people checked themselves into rehab centers and their spartan accomodations under a veil of anonymity, the treatment seems to have worked, at least occasionally. Case in point: Former First Lady Betty Ford has remained clean and sober for years. But for the vast majority of today’s celebrity brat pack, rehab is little more than a convenient alternative to court. That’s so sad, and it’s maddening. Wake up and smell the coffee, Britney. You’re not going to be twenty-something forever, and you need some real help.