I finally figured it out.

Ever since I got my office phone number back in August, I’ve been receiving strange phone calls from people wanting to schedule appointments to get some — dentures.

Uppers, lowers, even partial plates — I’ve fielded calls on ‘em all.  At first, I thought it was just a couple of octogenarians who were misreading the number from the yellow pages, but the calls kept coming.  Then it hit me:  1-800-DENTURE.

My office number is 336-8873.  That spells “denture.” Of course, mine is not an 800- number, but it sure explains a lot.  Now, I just tell the poor toothless folks to try again, using the proper prefix.  I guess I’m just glad they’re not asking me for diet pills.  Those calls might get me fired.